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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24092050">Episode 56: Letting Go Together</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PitoyaPTx/pseuds/PitoyaPTx'>PitoyaPTx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Clan Meso'a [56]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Mandalorian, Mandalorian Clans, Mandalorian Culture</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:41:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,801</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24092050</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PitoyaPTx/pseuds/PitoyaPTx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"But... I never meant much to anyone, save Dovin..." ~Cara </p>
<p>Regret has a funny way of coloring everything we do. Thankfully time, and a little love, can provide a new perspective on things</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Clan Meso'a [56]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1261364</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Episode 56: Letting Go Together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It took more than a week to reach the first checkpoint. Though Aviila’s reports never wavered, several of the other moving parts had to be changed in light of the recent outbreak of war. Cara and Jecho asked minimal questions and knew better than to interrupt the vital stream of information Aviila needed to reach their destination safely. <br/>	“Seven,” said Aviila with a sigh, sitting back in her chair and crossing her arms behind her head, “Seven other vessels have to be moved.” <br/>	“Seven?” asked Jecho, “Who else is out there?” <br/>	Aviila shrugged, “I’ve been out of the loop for a while, but I’ve been told we have to wait on seven other groups.” <br/>	“For what?” asked Cara. <br/>	“Well,” she said slowly, sitting up again, “Long range transmissions aren’t all that long range, you see,” she pointed out at the debris field, “We’ve been in this field for over a week and I still haven’t jumped to hyperspace yet.” <br/>	“I was wondering about that,” said Jecho, “I figured you were just lining us up but after a few days..” <br/>	Aviila hummed affirmatively, “These rocks and other bits form a physical and technological barrier around the system. The reason I can transmit back to control is because we have strategically placed amplifiers throughout this mess.” <br/>	“But out there?” Jecho pointed into the distance. <br/>	“We need to create a chain of ships.” <br/>	“That sounds like a lot of work.” <br/>	“It is,” Aviila agreed, “but that way we can make sure no one is listening in on us.” <br/>	Jecho shook her head, “All this secrecy, is there really a need for it? I’ve read the history, I know the stories, but...?” <br/>	“We’re just trying to be cautious,” Aviila said slowly, turning back to the nav. <br/>	Jecho looked as though she wanted to ask more, but instead got up and walked back out into the atrium. Aviila glanced over her shoulder as she passed, but stayed silent. <br/>	“But your friends,” said Cara once Jecho was out of earshot, “Someone killed them. Did they… did someone...hear you?” <br/>	Aviila, who’d reached out to un-mute the call, paused with her fingers mere inches from the button. <br/>	“I,” she began, but stopped as the console began to beep. <br/>	She quickly un-muted the call. <br/>	“Jate tuur, ori’vod,” said a distinctly male voice. <br/>	Cara ducked out of view in the leg-room area under the console. <br/>	“Jate tuur, Aran, Etima,” Aviila smiled. <br/>	“Hskghoood toooh hhearh yhoour vhoice, Avheela,” the Trandoshan said, raising her chin. <br/>	“It is,” agreed Aran, “I wanted to personally inform you that you’re good to jump.” <br/>	“Oh?” <br/>	He nodded, “Well, I’d rather see you than believe a report.” <br/>	Aviila shook her head, “You know a report would have been quicker.” <br/>	The indigenous male shrugged, a warm smile on his face, “S’uta ra’soah.” [It’s nice to talk to you/I enjoy your company; lit. “beautiful words to you”] <br/>	She shook her head again, but smiled back. “I’ll see you planet-side.”<br/>	Cara poked her head out from under the console once the call ended. <br/>	“Who were they?” she asked, pulling herself back up into the chair. <br/>	“Friends of mine,” she explained, “Aran and Etima trained with me when I learned to fly. Their work supplies us with the raw materials Meso’kaan is lacking. I was hoping to introduce you to them, but..” <br/>	“Oh,” said Cara sadly. <br/>	They sat in silence while Aviila raised the ship until it was just above the worst of the debris field. The path forward was clearly artificial, as the largest of the featureless objects were either tied together with thick cables or broken into pieces and moved out of the way. It was essentially a tunnel of metal and rock, as in between the debris were lit metal rings outlining the pathway for ship traffic. A chime broke the silence; Aviila turned to the holomap on her left and pointed at a red dot pulsating in space. <br/>	“That’s our final amplification point,” she explained, “From there we’ll be able to reach the Ordo’ade.”. <br/>	“Is it a ship?” <br/>	“It is.” <br/>	Cara frowned, “What’s wrong?” <br/>	Aviila looked at her but said nothing for a  moment, then dismissed the map and turned her chair. <br/>	“Before we jump, before we get too far to come back,” she began slowly, “I need you to do something for me, to promise me something.” <br/>	“You… what? What is it?” <br/>	Aviila reached behind her and rummaged through her back pouch. <br/>	“I need you to hold onto this.” <br/>	A flash of silver in the ship’s ambient light partially blinded Cara. <br/>	“I.. but-”<br/>	Aviila took one of Cara’s hands and pressed the holodisc into it. <br/>	“I need you to keep this safe for me, okay?,” she paused, her voice hitching, “I want to let it go but can’t bring myself to destroy it.” <br/>	“But why? What do-”<br/>	“Just,” Aviila interrupted her, “think of it as something to remember me by. And,” she paused again and sighed, “I want to punish whoever killed them, but the longer I have this the harder it is for me to think rationally about it. I just,” she pulled back and gestured broadly, “I find myself too angry to think...and that’s not who I am.” <br/>	For a moment, time felt slowed. Outside the ship, hunks of rock and metal floated by like uninvited guests peaking in on a private conversation. Both women held each other’s gaze unblinking, Aviila trying to impart understanding on Cara but the teen was unable to grasp what was happening. She looked down at the disk, felt its cold smoothness against her hands. It felt heavy and foreboding, as if she was carrying something illegal or stolen, something that didn’t belong to her. This was Aviila’s. This was her pain, her past, her motivation for vengeance; this was a symbol of everything she’d lost. Cara knew nothing about them, she didn’t even know their names. The fact that Aviila would give this to her, would depart with the memory of those she loved, seemed impossible. A weight descended on her shoulders just like the day she was hidden away in Aviila’s house, stealing a quick glimpse of the holodisc. <br/>	“I.. can’t take this,” she said finally, finding her voice. <br/>	Aviila looked down at the disk for a moment, then shut her eyes and gently closed Cara’s fingers over it. <br/>	“I have to let go,” she said almost in a whisper, “I can’t live like this anymore.” <br/>	Cara swallowed, “Aviila.. I-”<br/>	“That’s why you’re here, after all.” <br/>	Cara looked up at her, but she was still looking down at the place where the disk was hidden behind Cara’s fingers. <br/>	“What?”<br/>	“You’re here because of my hate,” the older woman took a shaky breath, “My hate… my anger over their deaths.. That’s why I attacked the Ordo’ade. I,” she paused and leaned back, her eyes wide as though straining to keep them open. As she did, the shadow cast by her open visor shrank just enough for Cara to see why she’d paused.<br/>	The teen swallowed again, “Is that why you told me what Ordo did?” <br/>	Aviila nodded, still leaning her head back, “I thought I was protecting you...like I couldn’t protect them. I-”<br/>	The cockpit door slid back, starling them both. Jecho stood on the other side, her face dark and her eyes tinged with red. She looked at them both, saying nothing for a moment but looking as though she was trying to find the words. <br/>	“You know,” she said finally, making eye contact with Aviila, “Palouta read me that story. He wanted to see how I reacted.” She sniffed and Cara could see the tears welling up in her eyes, “And you know what I thought? I thought I’d left my friends to die. I never trusted Mandalorians, never, but,” she took a deep breath, “That was before I met Beun. She was strong, and kind, and knew how to make you feel like nothing bad was ever going to happen. But I couldn’t reconcile that with what Palouta told me, what the archives told me about the way the Clans treated the Meso’a.” <br/>	“Jecho-” <br/>	She held up a hand, silencing Aviila, “All my fears seemed validated. My misgivings, my desire to leave the Ordo all justified by one story. I became a Chibala out of the desire to feel vindicated for the choices I made… but when I met you, Cara, I knew I couldn’t keep living like that.” <br/>	Cara shook her head and held her breath as her eyes began to mist. <br/>	Jecho made her way to them and wrapped an arm around them both, “I deserted them out of fear, I left them because I thought our fate would be uncertain and thought I was right because history was on my side, but is that no different from being an outsider? From being a slave?” she took another deep breath, “I was wrong to leave. And you were wrong to attack, but how can I sit here and judge the people who took me in when I had nothing? When I was nothing.." <br/>	Aviila unhooked her helmet, pulling the faceplate from the helmet proper and decoupling the lekku sleeves so she was left with just the head covering protecting her skin from the various mechanical bits. Setting them to the side, she put her forehead to Jecho’s temple. Jecho was still rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand as Cara sat forward and wrapped her arms around Jecho’s middle, leaning against her side and wiping her eyes on the flight suit… <br/>	“They say,” said Aviila after a while, “My people say, ‘ta’baal per tir’ta’naal, ta’xi’mik a ta’naal, ta’coat, ta’pol’naal’. I hear but I forget, I see and I remember, but when I do, I learn. Mando’ade are nothing without doing, without trying and failing, even if it means failing each other from time to time.” <br/>	“But-” Jecho began, but Aviila cut her off:<br/>	“But you learned, and now you’re going home...both of you. I..just hope I’ve learned too.” <br/>	She gave Jecho a headbutt and rubbed Cara’s shoulder, “Now in order to get home, I’m going to ask you both to strap in. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover and our window is closing.” <br/>	Jecho nodded and closed her arms around Cara, helping her up from the console and back to a line of three chairs set into the wall for the crew. Cara hastily wiped her eyes until they were clear enough to locate Aviila and give her a hug. <br/>	“Just keep your promise, okay?” she said with a chuckle, patting Cara on the back and rocking slightly. The teen straightened up and nodded, something like an “okay” coming out like a croak as she joined Jecho by the crew chairs against the wall.</p>
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